Updated: Feb 14
Do you have relationship problems?
Do you want to have that one best life-long relationship always supporting you?
Do you struggle to be in love and to love everyone?
If yes, then this article is for you.
You came on this earth alone and you will go alone and only and only you will remain with yourself. You are not the body having a soul. But you are the soul having a body. Once you understand that you are the best gift to yourself, and you choose to give yourself the best gift, then nothing can stop you to give yourself the best gift. Right now, what is stopping you? There may be thousands of reasons, from your mind conditioning to responsibilities to time etc. Whatever reason you have that is stopping you is all attachment and delusion (मोह माया). The moment you understand this, you will change.
This change had happened in my life. God took me from the state of loneliness to solitude. 10 years ago, i was in attachment and delusion. My husband hit me on the road and left me bleeding 10 years ago, and i left him with my kids. On the 15th day when i was gone on my job, my husband abducted my kids from my place and then he didn't initially let me meet my kids and also slowly turned my kids against me. I was left all alone and experienced loneliness. My kids were everything for me then. I was attached to my kids. Also, my earned money also was with my husband. My GPA also was with my husband and i didn't even have any details of GPA to cancel it. I had a feeling that i had nothing left in life to live for. In that phase, my search for meaning of life started and slowly it took me within. Now i enjoy my solitude. Earlier i didn't believe in God. But He gave me several experiences and transformed me from atheist to believer (नास्तिक से आस्तिक). Now I feel I know the most important thing I need to know and I got myself. My life converted from a feeling of nothing to the feeling of everything. The feeling of being victimized, of hatred, of revenge, of grudges and blames have all gone. They have been converted to the feeling of being in love with everyone and being grateful for each and every moment, situation, person and thing. So much that now i can say that my happiness is only in my hands.
I was not always like this. There was a time when i felt that i did everything for my family and for others, and that time i seeked validation and approval for everything from others. I made myself vulnerable and depended onto others. That time i didnt love myself.
And when i finally came to the terms of acceptance of the situation, when i finally started taking care of myself, then the transformation happened. When i had a good relationship with myself, my relationships with everyone who mattered automatically improved. My kids who were turned against me, also again got automatically connected with me. I experienced deeply that what frequency I vibrated in, I invited the same frequency situations, things and people in my life. So the main important aspect was that i should vibrate at that frequency to attract that type of people, things and situations in my life. Everything was within me. Aham Brahmhashmi.
To understand through eg, let's give the analogy of a car to life. Say, if i feel happy when others appreciate me and talk good about me, and also vice versa, if i feel sad when people abuse me and say bad things about me, then that would mean that i have handed over the handle of my car to others, and i have given charge of my life to others. Also, if the other person is in good mood, then he would say good and vice versa is also true. So what's the solution? The solution lies in taking charge of our own life; in taking the handle of our car (our life), in our own hands.
In Bhagavad Gita, chapter 2, verse no.55, Bhagwan Krishna says:
प्रजहाति यदा कामान्सर्वान्पार्थ मनोगतान् |
आत्मन्येवात्मना तुष्ट: स्थितप्रज्ञस्तदोच्यते ||
Meaning: when an individual discards all selfish desires and cravings, and becomes contended in the inner self, he becomes a balanced person and transcendentally situated.
That’s the best gift to oneself. The one who came with you, who will go with you, who is with you, who is you, realizing that brings all the change that's needed. Then the change will not happen instantly. But if you are on the right path and if you choose wisely, then slowly and steadily the divine change will surely happen.
So knowing that you are your best gift, gift yourself whatever you deserve and what makes you your best version. According to our state and stage, we all consider different gifts superior.
Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love, including self-love! So, you can treat yourself to something special that makes you happy and feel appreciated. Here are some ideas:
For the spiritual people:-
1. Self love: Meditate and spend time with yourself
2. Treat with Nature: Be in nature and recharge and rejuvenate yourself
3. Divine grace: Be with God, in bhakti bhav, bhajan, puja, arti, jap, tap
4. Spiritual products: Buy yourself the spiritual products to raise your energies
5. Spiritual products: Buy spiritual products for your spaces
6. Energize: Make your spaces energized
7. Purify Aura: Clean your and your spaces aura
8. Celebrate in orphanages
9. Celebrate in old age homes
10. Give service
11. Donate: You can donate whatever you have
For the materialistic people:
1. A spa day: Book a massage or a spa treatment to pamper yourself and relax.
2. A new outfit: Treat yourself to a new outfit that makes you feel confident and beautiful.
3. A self-care kit: Create a self-care kit with items like candles, bath salts, and a face mask.
4. A cooking class: Learn how to cook a new and healthy dish or improve your culinary skills.
5. A new experience: Try a new activity, such as skydiving or rock climbing, or go on a solo adventure, like a hike or a road trip.
6. A new hobby: Invest in supplies for a new hobby, like painting or knitting.
7. A book or a movie: Buy a book or a movie that you've been wanting to read or watch.
8. Jewelry: Treat yourself to a new piece of jewelry that you love and that makes you feel special.
9. Tech gadgets: Upgrade your tech gear with a new laptop, phone, or tablet.
10. A gourmet meal: Cook yourself a fancy meal or make a reservation at a fancy restaurant.
11. A fitness class: Try a new fitness class, such as yoga, dance, or pilates.
12. A photography session: Book a professional photography session to capture memories and moments.
13. A trip: Plan a solo trip to a place you've always wanted to visit.
No matter what you choose, remember to celebrate yourself and the love you have for yourself on this special day!
When we can first love ourselves, only then can we truly love others. So the journey will be from self-centredness to selfishness and then to selflessness; from loving our family with expectations to loving ourself to loving everyone without any expectation.
Love all. But first and foremost, love yourself.
Everything starts with only a small step today.
Gift a smile to all.
Smile a while and while you smile another Smile and soon they are miles and miles of smile and life is worthwhile.
Happy Valentines Day!
Love and light,
Director, ME Holistic Centre