Many people are burdened by the immense weight of responsibility. This burden stems largely from the pressure to conform to societal expectations and the teachings instilled by religious doctrines or spiritual leaders. Even those who have moved past the stages of *Brahmacharya* and *Yuva*—now entering *Vanaprastha* or *Sannyasa* (age 50 or above)—still carry this weight. Instead of living freely, they are shackled by these pressures, unable to experience true love or freedom. How can there be love when there is no freedom? As a result, their entire lives often feel wasted.
(To know more details about the four stages of life, read the next blog:
One of my clients, Ashwini (name changed for privacy), was raised in a traditional and orthodox family. Her upbringing drilled into her a sense of responsibility—she believed it was her duty to serve her in-laws, husband, and children. Earlier she lived in financial crunch and killed her desires and now her financial situation has improved but still she is not able to live her life. She regrets not living her life fully and not being able to do what she always wanted to do. She also gets consumed by guilt if she enjoys life or puts herself first. She finds it impossible to speak up for herself, having been conditioned to be silent even when others hurt her and now it has become her habit and pattern of life. Now in her old age, she feels lifeless, realizing she hasn’t truly lived. neither has she really loved and nor does anyone care for her much. Despite having money, she feels tied down by the daily obligations of house chores. Because of this overwhelming sense of duty, she’s unable to give or receive love, feeling worthless and unappreciated even when she has grandchildren now and when she should have taken the Vanprasthan approach as per the Vedas.
So, what’s the solution?
It’s not about abandoning responsibilities to chase personal enjoyment. Rather, it’s about realizing that responsibility extends to oneself as well and creating a balance. The best gift we can offer our loved ones is the best version of ourselves, and that only happens when we don’t feel pressured—when we feel free. Only then our actions can come from the heart when the feeling of freedom is there. It also becomes easier to manage responsibilities when we gain a little wisdom from our ancient texts like the Vedas and Bhagavad Gita.
For example, I often see many mothers, especially housewives, exhausting themselves to prepare elaborate, tasty meals for their families, trying to please the family and believing this is an act of love. But this so-called love, focused on satisfying the senses (indriya), can be more harmful than useful. As Lord Krishna says in 'Bhagavad Gita', Chapter 3, Verse 42:
इन्द्रियाणि पराण्याहुरिन्द्रियेभ्यः परं मनः।
मनसस्तु परा बुद्धिर्यो बुद्धेः परतस्तु सः।।
Meaning: "The senses are said to be superior to the body, but higher than the senses is the mind, and higher than the mind is the intellect. But what is even beyond the intellect is the Self."
Lord Krishna emphasizes that stronger than the body and senses (indriya) are the mind and intellect. Mothers should focus on nurturing their children’s intellect rather than indulging their senses. If we keep feeding the body’s cravings (indriya trupti), then the senses grow stronger while the mind and intellect weaken.
I’ve spent time in several ashrams, gurukuls, and tribal homes, where the approach to food and lifestyle is quite simple. Whether due to financial constraints, time limitations, or awareness, the food prepared in these places is basic and healthy, often requiring less time to cook. It's often said that the more time a woman spends in the kitchen, the more the food is processed—and more processed food becomes less healthy. In fact, many modern diets emphasize eating raw or minimally cooked food for better health. Tribal children, for example, often exhibit stronger immunity because they consume simpler, less processed food. And also the lady gets more time for other activities and for herself. Being simple and natural is a key and the core word is 'balance'. Have a well established balance in life.
This was one way in which both ends can meet. Of course there are other several ways and it changes from person to person, place to place and situation to situation. But, with some knowledge and awareness, we can creatively handle it all. We can be happy and can make others around us happy. In fact, we can only make others happy when we are happy. How will an individual give money to others, if he only doesn't have money. So it's important that you be happy to make others happy.
In short, how can an individual take care of others, how can he love others and how can he give others if he cant take care of himself, if he cant love himself and if he cant give himself!
This reminds me of verse in Geeta, chapter 2 verse 55:
आत्मन्येवात्मना तुष्ट: स्थितप्रज्ञस्तदोच्यते ||
One who becomes satisfied in the realization of the self, such a person is said to be transcendentally situated.
In facts that's how our ventures had started. Since i am staying alone since 10 years and had faced the problems that a single female has to face, so after i quit my job and after coming back from Narmada parikrama, i wanted to help women who felt they were alone. And 'ME Mahila Enterprises' venture came into existence. Then the women associated wanted financial stability and so 'ME Healthy Shoppe' came into being. Like wise, to empower women holistically and then to empower children holistically and to make world better, and to whatever little we had to give, one after other ventures came into existence. They were all initially focused on healing and then empowering oneself. After the initial phase, all ventures were focusing on giving to others and 'ME2WE' ventures started, means after being empowered, then one empowers others and makes world better.
We can say in short that it's not about running away from our responsibilities, but about living in balance. We must learn to free ourselves from unnecessary pressures so that we can give and receive love fully. By cultivating our intellect and taking care of ourselves, we not only enhance our own lives but also become better caregivers for those we love.
Key points:
Have a balance between responsibility and freedom.
Heal and empower yourself first and then automatically you will be in a state to give a lot to your loved ones and to the world.
Have a simple and natural life.
Avoid clutter and organize your things. Reduce and remove the clutter.
Connect to a purpose which is larger than yourself to make world better. Connect with your passion.
Don't do for others even if its help. Help others knowing that you are helping others not because they need help but because you feel good when you help others. This was you wont have expectation from them and you won't be hurt and your ego will not inflate.
- Be blessed by the Divine,
Manjushree Rathi
Director, ME Holistic Centre
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